It has been "officially" over between me and Dharmvir for a few months now. I know I did not say anything about it earlier because.... well.... Dharmvir seemed really hurt... ..... I guess I did not want to make a "headline" of it.....
We said farewell to each other. I know, we never had a relationship in the proper sense of the word but...... Even though I was not expecting him to ever want to talk to me anymore, I still kept him on my contact list because, you never know.
I suppose it's better for things to be this way between us at least I won'’t be able to break his heart again and he can make it available to love someone else. Well at least I did not tell him "let's just be friends". I have to admit that I do miss chatting with him.
Dharmvir sent me an offline message after our farewells, I was really surprised. It had been a while since I had seen him online and I didn't think he would want to talk to me again. But he came while I was away and by the time I got back he had already signed out. I did miss him quite a bit.
We were able to chat after those offline messages, his feelings had not changed. I still feel bad about this situation. I really messed up.....
Dharmvir believes that I stay invisible when he is online so he wont see me. He told me something about someone giving him a software to see who is sitting invisible etc.... I assured him that I was not hiding from him but he does not believe me.... I'm not going to argue about this. Like Dolores O' Riordan says, "There's no need to argue anymore...."
Why did the relationship end? Dharmvir says I never told him I did not want the relationship rather I said we could not have one, because of practical reasons. He assumed I wanted it but just didn't see how it would be possible. Like I've been saying, I really underestimated the seriousness of the situation... I took all this too lightly from the start and someone ended up being hurt....
I don't think I can ever make it right so I'll just try not to make any wrong anymore. I might be closing this chapter for now.
